‘On behalf on the Bovine Philosophical Society, Addington branch, we wish you to know that the finest minds of the countless generations of our clan have examined and debated an apparently simple question, year upon year, decade upon decade, century upon century, without conclusion or resolution. The lack of a satisfactory answer may be due to the limits of our bovine intelligences, or to the fundamental intractability of the problem — after all, not all epistemological questions can be conclusively resolved. So we want to ask you, stranger behind the fence: is the grass really greener on the other side?’